<docdwarf@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:frr1an$ok8$1@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> So... yesterday I get an e-mail of a forward to a response to a forward
of
> a reply to a forward of an FYI to a forward of... etc, going back about
> two months... with the question of 'Can you do something about this?'
>
> My response is 'I'm not sure what is wanted. If someone can tell me,
> clearly and unambiguously:
>
> 1) Selection criteria - out of (n) employees we need to look at the ones
> which have (condition or (combination of conditions))
>
> 2) Output requirements - for the employees whose data satisfy 1) above
we
> need to see (fields)
>
> 3) Date span - we need this information for (start period - end period)
>
> ... then I should be able to tell you if this is something I can put
> together quickly or if it will take a while longer.'
>
> The response was surprisingly to-the-point, given the organisation...
> along the lines of 'For all the employees of the Midwestern Division
> who qualify for Unsup****ted Dementia Leave that left the organisation
and
> received Miscellaneous Graft and Corruption payouts from October 2006 to
> the present we want to see name, separation date, amounts paid out and
> (some other stuff)'.
>
> And so... I've sent off my response. What follows are some almost
> verbatim quotes:
>
> (note - this is a shop that runs on files, not on a database)
>
> 1) Employees of the Midwestern Division - what value(s) in which
field(s)
> in what file(s) indicate an employee of the Midwestern Division?
>
> 2) Employes of the Midwestern Division who qualify for Unsup****ted
> Dementia Leave - given 1) above, what value(s) in which field(s) etc.?
>
> 3) Employes of the Midwestern Division who qualify for Unsup****ted
> Dementia Leave that left the organisation - given 1) and 2) above, what
> value(s) in which field(s) etc... you might begin to sense a pattern
here.
>
> ... and the final sentences were:
>
> If all the data you request can be found in a single file (e.g., the
> Paymaster) then this will be a moderately ***bersome task.
>
> If multiple files need to be matched and merged for only single pay
> periods this will be a ***bersome and time-consuming task.
>
> If multiple files need to be matched and merged for multiple pay periods
> then this will be a ***bersome, time-consuming and unwieldy task.
>
> ... and the response will not be, I believe... a pleasant thing to see.
>
LOL!
I guess you have to give them credit for an interesting turn of phrase...
:-)
I'd translate this as:
"You're not expecting us to actually KNOW or UNDERSTAND what's in our data
are you? Do you have any idea how tiresome it is for us to have to
respond
to requests like this? Good grief!... someone may actually have to find
out
where data is stored and put together an Easytrieve or something... We
don't
come here to work, you know, and being asked to do something that might
actually result in work is simply unreasonable. We don't know which fields
are the ones you need, we don't know where they are stored, and if it
turns
out to be across several files there might actually be a few hours work
involved for somebody...even if it's all on ONE file there is still work
involved. You don't REALLY want to do this, do you?"
Must be fun to work in such an organization.
Pete.
--
"I used to write COBOL...now I can do anything."
> DD
>
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